AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
