just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he thought i was a dude.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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