I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
