What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
