Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize