I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
