A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
