so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
