I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
