I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
