I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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