Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
