He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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