Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
