It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
then he tried to convert me to islam
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
