We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
should my penis look like a turkey
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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