She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
