you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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