We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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