Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
