How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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