He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
