Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
