dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
