Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
