Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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