Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
