There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just want to make out with him forever
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
