I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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