So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
