Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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