i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
What drink are we having for lunch?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
