remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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