mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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