he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
