i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
