He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
