I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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