We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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