Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
how drunk are you?
Several
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
