Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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