Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
