Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
