...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
