Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
