well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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