vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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