I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
