: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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