I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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