i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
