The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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